My Precious Lilies from Maria's Big House

I’m often asked how China went. Simply said, it was the best trip I’ve ever been on. The reason was because my soul was heavy with desperation, but I felt relief in God’s goodness. My heart was darkened with pain, but God gave me a peace because of the hope and the joy that I can find in him.



Liliana

There was a day that I experienced a giant milestone of every child’s life- their first steps. I played with a little girl named Liliana. She is a precious and solemn little girl. She’s the observer. Anyone who walks into the room is succumbed to the gaze her big brown eyes. She rarely shows emotion but is obviously very attentive to what is going on around her. From almost the moment I met her she reminded me of myself. I love watching people, but I don’t really like to reveal my real feelings.

I had been in her room a lot this week and she would always just sit there and stare. Surprisingly, she would let me pick her up, hold her, and play with her. About halfway through the day she was playing intently playing with my camera until the nannies brought a walker into the room to help the kids learn how to walk. Lilana immediately observed this new toy and decided she wanted to play with this tow. I took her over to it, thinking that she would just touch it and then be done. But she wanted to stand up with it.

This was the first time that I had seen her stand up and I assumed that it was the first time she had ever stood up, based on the reaction of the nannies. Usually she would scooted and crawled without using her legs much. But soon we were slowly walking around the room with the walker. I would gently pull it and she would move her feet to move along with it. At first her legs were very weak and unstable, within a couple of small walks around the room her legs got stronger and her walk improved but it still isn’t completely normal. Every time she successfully took a step with both feet she would look at me with these giant big brown eyes, looking for approval. I would clap and talk to her with a tone of affirmation, and then kiss her cheek. She made a noise and cracked a smile every time I kissed her. We continued this around the room for a while. But soon she was passed out in my lap on the couch.

I sat with her in my arms reflecting on what just happened. Again I was reminded of myself. Liliana is about a year and 5ish months old, kind of old to walk or even stand for the first time. I didn’t start walking until I was about 18 months. I got around the same way Liliana does (or so I was told), I dragged my feet around, to the point that my parents thought that something may be wrong. They were told that I possibly had Cerebal Palsy. With loving patience, encouragement, and assistance I eventually learned to walk. Comparing Liliana to my own experience broke my heart even more. Liliana experienced one of the biggest moments of her life with a foreigner,  not part of her forever family. She didn’t have her parents there to congratulate her, to help her, to praise her, or simply to just love her. Suddenly I began thinking about her future. I thought about all of the birthdays, milestones, and future accomplishments, with no one to celebrate with, with no one to spend them with. She would be alone. I held her tighter as I felt her precious body rising and falling as she slept. I couldn’t even stand that thought. She would be alone. Completely alone.

Suddenly I was reminded of a verse in the Bible.

“Consider the lilies, how they grow: they neither toil nor spin, yet I tell you, even Solomon in all his glory was not arrayed like one of these.”- Matthew 12: 27

God was reminding me that my precious Liliana (notice the detail that God did not fail to leave out- Lilies vs Liliana) would be held by God and he would never let her go. He would give her joy. He would be with her throughout the rest of her life. He celebrates her life. She is precious to Him and He cares about her.